{"title":"Declassified Gear","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"i-am-the-alien-t-shirt-funny-minimalist-ufo-conspiracy-tee-for-ufo-enthusiasts","title":"I AM THE ALIEN T-Shirt — Funny Minimalist UFO Conspiracy Tee for UFO Enthusiasts","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e34.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLoud, cheeky, and just odd enough to start a conversation. This tee wears its mystery proudly: stark black lettering on clean white cotton reads I AM THE ALIEN, a minimalist, slightly conspiratorial design that winks at UFO lore and late-night theory sessions. Lightweight and breathable, it slides under a jacket for urban nights or pairs with jeans and a beanie at a weekend meetup. The ribbed crew neck and side seams keep the shape sharp, while the soft Airlume cotton feels lived-in from the first wear. For anyone who collects strange stories, loves low-key irony, or wants to signal membership in the UFO-curious crowd, this shirt lands the balance between funny and oddly sincere.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for a soft, breathable feel\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar with seam and side seams to maintain shape\u003cbr\u003e- Shoulder tape and tear-away label for comfort and lasting wear\u003cbr\u003e- DTF\/DTG printed graphics for crisp, detailed black typography\u003cbr\u003e- Retail crew-neck fit — lightweight (4.2 oz\/yd²) and easy to layer\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":48312557240477,"sku":"10608625903536124154","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48312557273245,"sku":"10314673366780176543","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":48312557306013,"sku":"19450835228850814645","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48312557338781,"sku":"79532638865751785042","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48312557371549,"sku":"13317291995321690213","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":48312557404317,"sku":"11444170010570782242","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48312557437085,"sku":"24481591568489799890","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48312557469853,"sku":"27135759233818942027","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":48312557502621,"sku":"28506581651604162966","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48312557535389,"sku":"29170886903541596512","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48312557568157,"sku":"11115512294456971036","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":48312557600925,"sku":"21220298465202801494","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48312557633693,"sku":"13348251271921824953","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48312557666461,"sku":"19772557102907843307","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":48312557699229,"sku":"10116211304813254227","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48312557731997,"sku":"15505487098289682145","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":48312557764765,"sku":"22553559156279979079","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":48312557797533,"sku":"14954680280329610654","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0632\/3827\/5229\/files\/20260521080430-1f154ebb-2203-6290-9b39-fa6a460276f1.png?v=1779352794"},{"product_id":"alien-sayings-t-shirt-just-write-about-this-design-after-i-am-alien-graphic-tee","title":"Alien Sayings T-Shirt — \"Just write about this design after I am alien\" Graphic Tee","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear this tee like a secret message to the sky. The design reads like a quiet, playful manifesto from someone who has already left Earth — spare, odd, and oddly comforting. Lightweight cotton against your skin. Short sleeves that catch the wind. It sits in the wardrobe of someone who prefers late-night stargazing, improv sketches about alien bureaucracy, or coffee-fueled writing sessions about leaving the planet. Let it be the shirt you pull on for rooftop conversations, zine nights, or travel days when you want to feel like you’re already a little elsewhere. The print’s tone is wry and uncanny; it invites smiles, knowing nods, and the occasional double-take.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMade to be worn often and washed with ease. The crew neck holds its shape. The fabric is smooth and durable, so the message stays crisp. Ethically sourced cotton and quality printing mean it travels with you without losing character.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% ring-spun cotton (lightweight 153 g\/m²) for a soft, breathable feel\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular knit without side seams for a smoother drape and reduced fabric waste\u003cbr\u003e- Durable collar with ribbed knit and shoulder tape to prevent stretching\u003cbr\u003e- DTF sleeve prints and DTG main prints for sharp, lasting graphics\u003cbr\u003e- Pearlized tear-away label and Oeko-Tex certification for comfortable, safe wear\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":48312558878877,"sku":"13994316495136598851","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":48312558911645,"sku":"65122710523654768162","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":48312558944413,"sku":"14579337891233061824","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":48312558977181,"sku":"12266507985554922545","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":48312559009949,"sku":"26972148848540640251","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":48312559042717,"sku":"26507732687603562872","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":48312559075485,"sku":"14094945321699987615","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":48312559108253,"sku":"24674232833774630503","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":48312559141021,"sku":"65434388736617620485","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":48312559173789,"sku":"17924094014530363986","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":48312559206557,"sku":"11157216482558077221","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":48312559239325,"sku":"63749986306111328350","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":48312559272093,"sku":"20596694641516313135","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":48312559304861,"sku":"13146723568227109857","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0632\/3827\/5229\/files\/20260521082427-1f154ee7-b836-6844-a93e-fab128bf1e9f.png?v=1779352882"}],"url":"https:\/\/soulofluminaries.com\/collections\/declassified-gear.oembed","provider":"SOL \u0026 Alien on Earth","version":"1.0","type":"link"}